"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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