You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
