dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize