pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
