that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize