I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
