if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
i think im in europe. pls send help
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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