your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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