How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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