Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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