It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
