mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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