Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
