White coat. Heels.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
my poor anus
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
