I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
