sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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