i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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