yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
