Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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