We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
