Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
