The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
