ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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