and you said cock pushups were impossible
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
