And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
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