you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Randomize
