its not stalking. its research.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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