I can tuck mytits in my pants
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
This baby is an asshole
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
