My hand turned me down
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
