This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize