Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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