I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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