also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
My balls are so social today.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
