Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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