are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
