I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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