i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
