Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(343): View more from Ontario

No awkward lesbian experiences without me

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(856): View more from New Jersey

a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?

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(339): View more from Massachusetts

Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car

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(623): View more from Arizona

His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?

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(337): View more from Louisiana

Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.

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(559): View more from California

I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs

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