We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
