All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
