Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
