dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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