you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize