either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
