tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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