don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
