Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
