Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
