Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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