So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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