so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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