Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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