i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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