he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
