So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
