Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize