Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
