Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
