she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I wear drunk well.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
