why didn't you poke me back
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize