you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
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