and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize