Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
