How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize