apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
