Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
