We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
