Just fell off a train. Bad.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
