Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
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